101 Ways to annoy people - Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
101 Ways to annoy people - Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
101 Ways to annoy people - Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
101 Ways to annoy people - Drum on every available surface.
101 Ways to annoy people - Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
101 Ways to annoy people - Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
101 Ways to annoy people - Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
101 Ways to annoy people - Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
101 Ways to annoy people - Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
101 Ways to annoy people - Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
101 Ways to annoy people - Surprise old friend's by visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
101 Ways to annoy people - Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that you didn't really save them any money.
101 Ways to annoy people - Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
101 Ways to annoy people - Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
101 Ways to annoy people - Set alarms for random times.
101 Ways to annoy people - Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
101 Ways to annoy people - Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
101 Ways to annoy people - Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
101 Ways to annoy people - Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
101 Ways to annoy people - Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
101 Ways to annoy people - Honk and wave to strangers.
101 Ways to annoy people - Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Safety Orange.
101 Ways to annoy people - Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
101 Ways to annoy people - Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wear your pants backwards.
101 Ways to annoy people - Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
101 Ways to annoy people - Begin all your sentences with "Oh la la!"
101 Ways to annoy people - Rouse your roommate/spouse from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
101 Ways to annoy people - ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
101 Ways to annoy people - dont use any punctuation
101 Ways to annoy people - Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
101 Ways to annoy people - Pay for your dinner with pennies.
101 Ways to annoy people - Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
101 Ways to annoy people - Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
101 Ways to annoy people - Write "X - Buried Treasure" in random spots on roadmaps.
101 Ways to annoy people - Explain to everyone you meet of your Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
101 Ways to annoy people - Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
101 Ways to annoy people - Light road flares on a birthday cake.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
101 Ways to annoy people - Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
101 Ways to annoy people - Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
101 Ways to annoy people - At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
101 Ways to annoy people - When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells..." until physically restrained.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
101 Ways to annoy people - As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
101 Ways to annoy people - Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
101 Ways to annoy people - Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
101 Ways to annoy people - Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
101 Ways to annoy people - Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
101 Ways to annoy people - Why walk when you can drive that half a block?
101 Ways to annoy people - Name your dog "Dog".
101 Ways to annoy people - Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask people what gender they are.
101 Ways to annoy people - Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
101 Ways to annoy people - Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
101 Ways to annoy people - Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
101 Ways to annoy people - Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
101 Ways to annoy people - Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
101 Ways to annoy people - Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes.
101 Ways to annoy people - Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
101 Ways to annoy people - Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as the Mr Rogers theme song.
101 Ways to annoy people - While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
101 Ways to annoy people - Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
101 Ways to annoy people - Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
101 Ways to annoy people - Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
101 Ways to annoy people - Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
101 Ways to annoy people - Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
101 Ways to annoy people - Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wear a lot of cologne.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask people if you may "interface" with them.
101 Ways to annoy people - Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
101 Ways to annoy people - Sing along at the opera.
101 Ways to annoy people - Mow your lawn with scissors.
101 Ways to annoy people - Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy".
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
101 Ways to annoy people - Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
101 Ways to annoy people - Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
101 Ways to annoy people - Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see the "magic picture".
101 Ways to annoy people - Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
101 Ways to annoy people - Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
101 Ways to annoy people - Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
101 Ways to annoy people - Never make eye contact.
101 Ways to annoy people - Never break eye contact.
101 Ways to annoy people - Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
101 Ways to annoy people - Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
101 Ways to annoy people - Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
101 Ways to annoy people - Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
101 Ways to annoy people - Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
101 Ways to annoy people - Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101 Ways to annoy people - Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
101 Ways to annoy people - When asked to do things, repeat the instructions to the body parts involved. (ie. "Hand, will you please open the door.")
101 Ways to annoy people - When people ask you to do things, mutter under your breath, "This won't be neccessary where you are going."
101 Ways to annoy people - Wait until you get to work to shave.
101 Ways to annoy people - Tell small children that they don't look very promising.
101 Ways to annoy people - Return to Non-Sequitur ]
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